The Story Thus far…

Whew… you know how in life you have those days that are just unbelievably hard… where you well up with sadness and have to swallow the good with the bad and tons of things are changing all at once…

Ya – that was yesterday… *takes a deep breath * really things are for the better… I mean if things had to happen this way really this is the best way it could have come to be…

The beginning…

My wife and I have been together for oooh must be going on 8 years now… we dated for 3 have been married for 5. some might think that’s early yet as relationships go, but it’s increasingly more and more difficult to think of memories that she’s not in. 😀 I like it that way… In the first few years of our marriage she ask me about starting a family – I wasn’t ready for the responsibility I want to put my little guy first.. so I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t at that point yet.. Lindsay patiently waited.. it was near the end of our 2nd year together that I said okay I’m ready… so Lindsay went off her birth control and we thought.. as soon as this is out of her system we can start to have kids – all through high school we’re taught how we need to be careful.. that having kids is easy and can happen quickly… but did you know of all the life on earth humans are one of the most infertile.. and that having a baby is really a gift. We tried and tried and tried.. Lindsay’s period never came.. we got worried so she saw a Doc… the Doc said that since she was on the birth control it would take some time.. for her system to kick in.. Nothing happened… still we waited. Finally we had to start a drug treatment to induce a period.. this went into all sorts of procedures and medicines.. Which ended up doing what they needed to but her body just wouldn’t start on it’s own.

This got frustrating for her and I was patient I knew that I would have a child.. I was meant to be a Dad. So we pressed on… no period simply means no egg. She still got the once a month back pains and mood swings that a period would bring on in a normal situation… but no release… so after getting so far with our family Doc we were referred to our OBGYN – Dr Shannon. A very charismatic fellow – with a kind voice. From the time I met him I knew we were in good hands.
He prescribed some specialty drugs of which the names elude me.. things to try and jump start her system or to trick her system into releasing an egg. In the mean time they put my wife through tons and tons of tests to make sure her womb would be a suitable environment for a little baby to grow.. all tests checked out… so more waiting… eventually when he had used up all his skills he told us we needed a specialist a fertility clinic. The whole time we were like okay.. whatever it takes.. so after a year of assorted drugs we tried a fertility clinic. We had two choices… Dr Shannon said there was an amazing clinic in London the Dr there was a good friend of his they climbed mountains together and had a history as friends.. or right there in town there was Dr Campenaro. We thought.. why drive to London when we can stay in town.. especially with all the tests involved blood work every morning for weeks. Closer seemed like the right answer.

Karma institute and Dr Campenaro.

The Karma institute was very close.. it was directly across the street from the hospital. Why is it that almost all medical facilities have like no parking or you have to pay an arm and a leg for it?
grrrr.. At any rate… we got to the office and had our consultation… Dr Campenaro has NO, nada, absolutely no personality in her office… I’m told she’s really funny outside of the office.. but as far as I know… she’s a quiet, small women, she has this tablet computer that she hides behind. And you have to strain to hear her…

Well we went through testing.. i had like 12-15 vials of blood taken and was tested for every disease or bug known.. I came out clear Lindsay had the same test and she’s good.. I got off easy she had to go in every day for weeks for blood work to see how she was progressing with being fertile. I also had a swim up.. they take your sperm and test it for how many healthy swimmers you got.. then they put them in this thick solution that’s like being inside the vagina.. and the good ones can swim through it all… 4 a 14% chance at making a baby I was told, you need 5 million sperm. my results came back with me having around 1 million. So that was bad.. and Lindsay wasn’t releasing eggs.. so that sucked.

We asked her what we should do – her advice IVF was the only solution. And that Lindsay should lose some weight to get her insulin down. IVF or InVetro Fertilization where they harvest eggs from Lindsay and inject it with the sperm. they do this to a few eggs and put them inside the uterus. Then we hope one latches on to the side.. this procedure costs 12K roughly for the procedure and two doses of meds that are around 6K each. Pretty crappy..

We asked outright – “can we try IUI first (inter Uterine Insemination) and she replied “NO” you will not have a child this way it would be a waste to try.

So we took the money we’d been saving for a new home, plus some that we received as help from family and went forward with IVF.

about a month and a half later it would fail.

we were destroyed… first all the drugs to get Lindsay to ovulate naturally weren’t working and now the IVF failed all that money was just gone and we had nothing but a few days of joy dreaming of the child that could be.

I proposed we take a break and move on with life… so we did.

S.O.F.T and a world of Difference

a few months later we started to think about things again.. I decided to take down he nursery that I had been setting up during the IVF procedure.. took apart the crib and packed about the baby things we had.

We went back to the OBGYN Dr Shannon as told him about the horrible time we had with Karma.. how the nurses didn’t treat you like people but more like faceless cattle passing through.. and how Dr Campenario appeared to care less about our failure. That when we scheduled a follow up with her which was an hour late she didn’t know why were there and was going over old notes..

Dr Shannon apologized for our experience and asked what we’d like to do.. we decided to try his friend in London Ontario.. Dr Martin was the Head there.. and right away the S.O.F.T clinic was day and night better than Karma. The staff cared about their patients. The nurses there would email Lindsay with words of comfort and wisdom regarding anything Lindsay needed to know or just to be kind. Right away after looking at the medical notes we had brought with from the Karma clinic Dr Martin was like.. “why didn’t you try IUI?” he asked if we had tried a series of drugs that we’d never heard of.. and assured us that there was a lot of preliminary work that could be done.. prior to IVF.. that IVF should be a last try. He said looking from the results there.. that IUI should have been the first step. So he moved forward to have me tested, again.. my swim up produces 66 million sperm a long way off from the 1million karma reported.. so he did another test to make sure and the results were similar the swim up was also good. So it would be IUI… Lindsay began the med regiment that would prep her body for being a mom. the procedure was very simple and over before you know it… they suggest after an IUI that you er.. spend as much intimate time as you can after that – it only increases the chances of fertilization. So we had a great weekend.

it wasn’t long after that – and a few blood tests that we received a phone call that is to this day still saved to our answering machine.. Mr and Mrs Wilhelm.. your going to be parents….(Photo of the Ultra Sound was here before site was hacked) (Image of our positive pregnancy test)

Ayden Edward Ernest Wilhelm

after a few months and some very cool ultrasounds some of which can be seen in earlier posts Ayden (Gaelic for “little fire”) began kicking and swimming inside Lindsay…

Now at 24 weeks Lindsay had a routine check up to see how Ayden was doing and if she had developed a gestational diabetes, which some pregnant mothers can develop. During the first ultrasound the tech noticed that Lindsay was dialated 1cm, promptly ordering her to go to the hospital across the street.

I was phoned at work and in a panic rushed to the hospital not knowing what to expect.

Dr Shannon had met Lindsay there and after a few tests decided that the best course was to let the experts take it from here… So Lindsay was sent to McMaster Sick Kids Hospital where she’ll now stay until Ayden is born.

I miss her here.. at home – the house seems really empty but I know it’s for the best.

The Good:

No contractions
Membrane holding the baby and the fluid is in one piece.
both the baby and mom are perfectly healthy and on track with a normal pregnancy

The Bad:

The cervix which is like a door in the wall of a chamber had become very thin where it should be around 2cm or more in thickness and on top of that has started to open… the membrane like a big water balloon had sagged out through the opening.. where it just sits…

If bacteria gets to the wall it will in time eat through it. This could spark contractions. which could lead to premature birth.

we’re only 24 weeks along which means that Ayden has only a 55% chance of survival and if he does survive he’ll suffer from life long complications.

What Now:

we wait.. if Lindsay can hold on and things remain exactly like they are right now till we can get to Dec 4th the chances of survival go to 95% with no permanent damage. So.. that’s where we’re at.

On top of all of this we have bought a new home and were trying to move Nov 28th. I’ll be doing that myself plus juggle work and drive to Hamilton to visit my wife…

It just goes to show how much can change in a day…
I’d like to thank everyone for their prayers.. and I’ll keep you posted on how things go.